Describes Me in Many Ways

I have good days. I have bad days. I can't let it stop me.

Where Can I Find?

Yes, I know it's an English staple, but I'd love to know if anyone knows where I could find HP. It's very similar to A1, but with a tarter bite, and not as thick. It's wonderful on eggs, and with getting ready for my new fitness minded lifestyle, I will be eating plenty of egg-white omlettes. Please give a shout-out if you know!

I've Made a New Committment

Ever heard of P90X? It's a series of fitness dvd's sold on late night informercial-vision. A new friend and I are going to be whipping ourselves into shape each day at my new gym, 3rdDegreeFitness. It claims to be able to transform your body in 90 days... although I think I may need to do it twice... I've never been so out of shape in my life, and I am ready for the changes to come!!!!

My new workout buddy is a trainer at this gym, and I have been following his fitness and weight loss battles on youtube for some time. At first, I didn't realize that he lived in Hot Springs, but it is such a small world sometimes, isn't it?? Anyhow, I've been doing my own battle with the bulge, as many of you who know me already know. My biggest mistake this year though, was taking on too many other obligations, and the gym somehow slid into bottom priority. By slacking off my gym time, I was able to re-gain nearly 20 lbs. that I had lost... and I did it in only the length of 16 weeks, or i.e., one Fall Semester. I'm not dissapointed, I just now realize that the committment I make to fitness and overall health must be a daily consideration, just like eating or sleeping, or I will die a very premature death. I don't want to die young. I refuse.

Luck would have it that my new friend and I would finally meet face to face yesterday, and upon discovering that we're to turn 40 years old within a month of each other, we have made a pact to celebrate our 40th Birthdays in the best shape of our lives. I am so, so, SO very excited about this! You know how when something is so exciting to you that you cannot sleep? THAT is how excited I was about this. (Which today, makes Alan a sloppy, dragging, tired fool.)

I am making certain preparations for the journey today, even though I feel like crap-o-la. I am getting the kitchen and pantry ready for a make-over as well. I know I will need to free up space in the pantry and fridge and freezer, for the new bounty of healthy foods I will now be keeping on hand. I am also rearranging the cupboards as best I can, and any other way possible to help me help myself in the kitchen.

And as tired as I still am from a severe deprivation of sleep.... I am still SO very excited. Tomorrow will be the day it begins.

Sick

First, it was Joe. He called on Monday afternoon asking if I knew where he might could find a copy of his proof of insurance for his car. He had been rear-ended on Central Avenue, and could not find a copy in his car. Since he was on-duty, and to make sure any injuries were to be covered by workman's comp, he would have to go to the doctor for blood work and exam. While there, the Doctor diagnosed him with bronchitis.

By the time he got home, he could not speak and was delirious with sickness. On top of it all, he was sore from the auto incident, too. The bag of prescriptions that I fetched for him raised pharmacy staff eyebrows significantly, as it not only included narcotic cough medicine, but also vicodin and muscle relaxers for his muscles.

Needless to say, within an hour of arriving back at home with his meds... he was toasted.

Luckily for Joe, he was able to call-in sick for two days and was able to rest and heal. I, on the other hand, became ill the next day, and could not take off work at all. Apparently, the person that stands in for me when I am ill or on vacation was already filling-in for staff in our North Little Rock lab. In other words... I was shit out of luck.

"Just go home as soon as you get all your work done" says my boss. Seemed simple enough, but after having already gone to the doctor yesterday morning prior to work, my meds had kicked-in too... and I was doing good to complete my work at all without grinding off my fingertips with the dental drill.

So, yesterday I got to leave a whopping 5 minutes earlier than usual. Today was a bit better though. I got to leave much earlier. Much, much earlier! 2:00!!!!

Gee whiz, maybe I'm just pissy b/c I'm sick... or maybe I just want a new job.

I'm thinking it's both.

Something Has Clicked

Several years ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I was a very slim and svelte young man. A young dad, two jobs, college classes at night, and yet I still had enough energy to arise every morning at 4:30 to exercise. When I was my slimmest, I averaged a weekly total of 30 jogged miles, and as many or more walked or hiked. I remember the endorphin rush each and every day, and the high would last me long enough to do everything I set my sights upon.

Me: 1998

Age: 28

Height: 6'2"

Chest/waist: 50/34

Weight: 220

Hair: Yes

Well, life situations changed (life actually became a living hell), and my "hot young daddy" body fell into disrepair. Fast forward a few more years, and I was basically living off of a diet that consisted heavily of vodka & mtn. dew, and lots of other 'junk'. I had experienced a very nasty divorce, which in actuality was not as bad as the 7 year marriage that preceded it. The quality of my life had become over-run with obstacles that I could no longer maneuver. Finances were spiraling out of control, job security waxed and waned with the moon, and in all my good judgement, I had decided that I would now finally come out of the closet. Little did I know that some of the biggest challenges of my life wre yet to come, despite feeling like finally living true to self would set me upon a road to happiness.

My life was upside down, and my health was taking a very serious turn for the worse. It was Easter of 2003 when I got my real wake-up call, and it was this photo taken of me with my sisters:

In four short years, the person who looked back at me in the mirror was a complete stranger. Seventy pounds can squash just about any person's will. Problem was... my will had already been through so much, that I simply didn't have the energy to do anything about it. All I could think of was the fact that not too long ago, I had been near single digit bodyfat percentage... without worrying a thing about what I ate! But the bigger kicker was how embarrased I was about myself at a time when I was very vulnerable, and still learning the ropes of this new gay world.

Looking back at all of it now, I feel I have come full circle. I joined a gym this spring and have been enjoying it tremendously. I haven't quite been able to completely quit smoking yet, but I do now watch what I eat, and do not really drink that much anymore. As of this week, I finally am beginning to feel like I did many years ago. I again, arise before 5 am, and make my way to the gym. I love every moment of it. In fact, I'm heading there now. All this week, I've gone back for seconds in the afternoons. I am trying as hard as I can, as hard as I am able, to find that "hot daddy" body again. I know I'll find him. In fact this time, he will be even better than he was before.

Damn, this has been one long-as-hell road to get to this point, and I feel as if I've paid my share of dues along the way. But I'm glad I am here again. I don't quite have as much work ahead of me as I did in the fat picture, but I know I can do it again. I had doubted it for so long.

I love my life again.

Potato, Tomato, Red Meat & Wheat

Try to eliminate those items from your diet & just see how difficult it would be. Yet, that is what my new book, "Eat Right for Your Blood Type" tells me I should avoid. Believe me it is difficult, and there are many, many more it suggests I should avoid, but I thought that if I can avoid these four as much as possible then I'll be doing pretty well.

I'm type "A". The natural vegetarian. I'm not surprised with that at all. I'll do my best to follow the book's suggestions, then perhaps I'll see an upgrade in my general well-being. If that does happen, then I'll be much more diligent about eliminating/introducing different foods into my daily diet.

So much for chili and spaghetti, huh?