Thursday, January 24, 2008

What to do...?

I'm drawing a complete blank. Tomorrow is our 1st Anniversary, and for the life of me, I cannot think of some special thing to do... This week's been outrageously hectic for Joe, and still very busy for me, too. Chances are, he's already purchased a sweet, sappy card for me to see first thing in the morning. I love 'em.

I'll do the same, but I know I need to have something else in mind.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Let the Madness Begin


Opening Day at Oaklawn_Jockey_Club. Oh, the fanfare! Or shall we call it OJC & Casino? Seems as if that's not too far off the mark. Legalized gambling of different sorts began months ago, but today will be the first day that it will coincide, on premisis, with live horse racing. Word is out that the Cella family, owners of the jockey club, have purchased several acres of mid-town property, with sights of expanding the enterprise. One piece of that property sits just across the street from my office. It's about 15 acres +/-, and even though the original 1960's era K-Mart that anchored the shopping center is long gone, it is still a thriving piece of real estate with amenities from a pharmacy and a 10 screen cinema, to a chinese restaurant and a huge antique mall. At the moment, it's difficult to envision a gambling multi-plex with a high rise hotel there, but I'm sure it's bound to happen. Eventually.
But for today, I DO envision a town of 60,000 bursting at it's seams and morphing back into the vacation capital of the state for the remainder of the year and for which it is so fondly attributed. Today marks the day in Hot Springs, that we call the 5th Season. Winter is officially over here. This is Racing Season! It is also when I find my 5th Season Alternate Routes Through
Town. Only an out-of-towner would be foolish enough to drive Central Avenue or anywhere around the track during these days.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Happy Birthday, Al


Notorious Al Capone. Born on this day in 1899. Called Hot Springs a second home. Had a permanent lease on room 449 at the Arlington Hotel, or so the story goes....
Many say that Capone came to Hot Springs often to treat his 'condition', which was syphilis. With the knowledge that my and Joe's home was built by a physician who specialized in treating v.d., then I'm thinking it may highly be likely that Mr. Capone has graced our halls. Anything's possible.
Mr. Capone ultimately died suffering from the progressed disease's complications. He is buried at Mount Carmel Cemetary in Hillside, IL.
R.I.P. Alphonse.



Tuesday, January 15, 2008

It's not E-Gore, it's Eye-Gore

Every once in a while, I'll read up on a more obscure football player than the obvious quarterbacks or running backs (bitches think they are the center of the universe, don't they?). One certain play might spark my interest in finding out more about the lesser-known members of an NFL team.

Well, this past Sunday was a good day for watching some great football. While watching the San Diego Chargers, I noticed one player in particular, Igor Olshansky, a defensive tackle. The camera caught him as one play got under way, and though completely unintentional, Igor hit a member of the opposing team, not with his shoulder, but with his arm. Actually, I'm remembering it was maybe just a flick of the wrist, and the contact sent the other player to the ground immediately. I was intrigued.

So, today I did a search for Mr. Igor Olshansky. All 6'6" and 320 lbs. of him.

























Did I say 320 jacked lbs?

I'm sure glad these holidays are behind us

One can take only so much of the food, drink and merriment, eh? Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being able to celebrate the holidays in every way. I've seen many come and go when I was not nearly as happy and centered as I am now. I just can't begin to say how relieved I am that those lonely old days are over. Nothing quite says 'Crappy Christmas' like having already celebrated the holiday with family days before, eating leftovers from that day, and sitting alone in a half-assed-furnished condo with no other plans but to sit and play solitaire in your underwear, watch some sickening Christmas movie marathon on A&E, and pray that the hours until going back to work will fly by as quickly as freakin' possible. That's when the Vodka can really come in handy.

But even when times are great, one can only take so much... Besides, I'm ready to take aim at the rest of this new year. Later this month, I'll have the pleasure of celebrating a very special anniversary. Year One has nearly slipped-by since I met Joseph and inherited all these wonderful neighbors and friends. Luckily, I am able to consider most of the neighbors as friends, too! This year has also brought my parents into the 'real world', so to speak, by coming face to face with this new world of mine. They did surprisingly well, I must say.

And me, I'm great. I've never been better, and that's the gosh-honest truth. I've certainly learned that life can take us on a roller-coaster ride at times. But if we make certain that we're strapped in properly, and that we don't reach out for passing objects, we'll likely come over those humps w/o much harm. What is especially nice is when life gives us someone to sit beside us on that coaster. The humps aren't nearly as scary. In fact, they're a little fun.

Enough with that. I do want to share a story within this post, as I heard it several holidays ago, and I've always thought it was such a funny story... AND, it just goes to show why it's always better to be honest with the people in your life:

John and Mark are gay. They've lived together as partners for two years. Both of them have neglected to, however:
1) Tell their family they are gay, and
2) that they do in fact have a significant other in their life.
Each of their respective families only know of Mark and John as roommates to each other... or at least that's what they think.

One Christmas, John's mother comes to visit from out of town. With it being Christmas, John thinks of a wonderful idea to cook a big dinner. Mark agrees, reluctantly, and all goes very well. John's mother goes on and on about how wonderful a cook her son is, and how very glad she is that he has such a wonderful roommate like Mark.

While cleaning-up, Mark noticed that John's mother was incredibly interested in the silver gravy ladle that had been used at the dinner table. She wouldn't stop staring at it, whether at the table or at the kitchen sink while helping wash dishes. Thinking that perhaps she was just interested in the silver pattern, Mark dismissed the odd behaviour, and soon forgot all about it.

Several days had passed since John's mother returned to her home, and Mark noticed that the gravy ladle was now missing. Mark mentioned to John what he had noticed at dinner that evening, and he was suspect of her having taken it from their apartment. Of course, Mark delicately approached the subject with John, and John agrees that he will simply write his mother a note to thank her for her visit, then the note went on to say:

"...now I'm not saying you did take the ladle, and I'm not saying you didn't. But ever since you helped wash the dishes that evening, we have not been able to find that ladle anywhere. If you find it, would you please return it to me? Love you, John"



Several days passed until a reply came in the mailbox from John's mother. The note went on to say how lovely her visit was and how she can't wait to come back again. As for the ladle, all she had to say was this:

"...I'm not saying that you and Mark do sleep together, and I'm not saying you don't. But if Mark was sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mother"

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Just Saw This Today

Read it for yourself here. Who woulda thunk it?

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

I'll Call Her 'Sheeba'

That's short for Toshiba... Okay. Here I sit in front of my new laptop, ready to bang out volumes of seemingly unimportant prose.

Yes, I did opt for the more portable technology while keeping in mind that I would have my equipment at hand,and that ability trumped my other concerns. As I become more familiar with the computing world, I realize that many of the pros of a monolithic desktop PC are available to a laptop user as well. All available, all within reach, if I so desire to add them. I know for certain I will be looking into a wireless mouse, first. Beyond that, probably a separate hard-drive. My Taurean tendencies have me enthralled with all this new technology, and my organizational neuroses will fit right in to being able to copy and catalogue all of our music, photographs and documents. By the time I'm finished ripping all of our CDs, I'm sure a separate hard drive will not only be wise, but absolutely necessary.

I must stop. I'm giving myself goosebumps.

Central Avenue 1907

My heart has always longed for the Dugan-Stewart Bldg to be converted into loft condominiums. Aside from the street-level retail shops, the remaining floors have been left empty and unused. It is second and what seems to be the third building from the right. Connected with a Ground Floor entry, the two 'towers' reach farther upward, with the top floor displaying brilliant sunburst windows.

Today, the Southern Club still stands. Long gone are the gaming tables and slot machines. They've been replaced with human-size wax replicas of several US Presidents, the twelve apostles, and several 'have-been' Hollywood type personas. Aside from the Arlington Hotel, perhaps Josephine Tussaud's Wax Museum is the longest-surviving business on Central Avenue? Perhaps.

The Arlington Hotel in the photo is actually Arlington #2. When Hot Springs later burned, so did this hotel. The current Arlington (#3), now sits at the feet of this photographer, and the old hotel site is a green space. Known by the locals as 'Arlington Park', this half-block was soon reclaimed by the National Park system.

Monday, January 07, 2008

Crashed, baby!

I'm posting this from the office computer. On Saturday, my trusty HP finally died. Now the task will be to find an appropriate replacement. I had been thinking about a laptop, as the thought of running about the home whilst online appealed to some deep inner need. However, upon playing with one in the store and trying to type on one of those buggers with these big fingers seemed ridiculous. Then the mouse pad and I were at odds with each other from the get-go. I'm thinking now that being affixed to one spot with a normal size keyboard and mouse will not be a bad thing a'tall. Especially considering I could get some ginourmous screen, too!

Friday, January 04, 2008

Okay... I got a really cool camera for Christmas.

Within minutes, I had loaded the batteries, discovered it took video, and this is the result! The boys playing their PS3, Joe relaxing, and Lexi looking all cute whilst flipping her hair.

It Was A Stroke

Okay... there, I said it.

I'm still alive and kicking, but now with an altogether different outlook on my life, my aspirations, my real needs, and the sweet precious time I have to make it really count. To have a stroke at my age can bring it all into perspective. It occured in the occipital lobe- in the right hemisphere. Hence the blind spots I have in both eyes, just left of center.

I had carried the weight of that news quite heavily for some time. Joe was particularly helpful in reassuring me and helping me to see how I would best be able to avoid yet another stroke (which is now much more probable). However, the weight lifted significantly one day in particular. It was the Friday before Christmas, and I was affixed to a certain porcelain fixture during my process of getting ready for the work day. I was thinking about all of the ramnifications this discovery had made on my life, lifestyle and outlook.

It was then that I noticed that the roll of toilet paper was drastically low. "Was there more toilet paper in the closet?" I wondered. At that moment, I realized that the fear of needing to purchase toilet paper on one of the busiest shopping days of the year had replaced the concerns I'd been carrying for weeks. The thought of trudging into ANY retailing outlet to purchase only toilet paper seemed as uninviting as anything I could possibly ponder. My face broke into a smile, then finally I began to slightly laugh. I knew then that all would be okay.

And yes, there was plenty of paper stached back in the closet. After all, I didn't need to have a stroke about it, did I?

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Follies - Yvonne DeCarlo - I'm Still Here

I AM Still Here!

No, I can't sing it as well as Ms. DeCarlo, but feel it just the same. I AM still here, even though you wouldn't know it by looking at this blog. Truth is... I've been faced with a lot of medical issues that I am just now dealing with in the proper sense, AND the holidays were very busy. I looked so forward to January finally getting here, and well, it has. And it's great!



The medical news I will disclose later, as I want to keep this all positive in nature. What I would like to share, though, is a link to a new blogging friend. Marieke. She and her new husband Thomas shared not only their New Year's Eve with Joe and I and our other company, but it also happened to be their honeymoon!!! Both of them are lovely and sweet, and I think we've made two very good friends. Marieke met Thomas in London, and has moved to Texas to be with her sweet.



Wherever life leads you, Thomas and Marieke, we wish you the most happiness!



The Newlyweds visit with John & Danny.

Oh gee, now I'm all verclempt. Just talk amongst yourselves.... Here's Marieke's blog link.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Potato, Tomato, Red Meat & Wheat

Try to eliminate those items from your diet & just see how difficult it would be. Yet, that is what my new book, "Eat Right for Your Blood Type" tells me I should avoid. Believe me it is difficult, and there are many, many more it suggests I should avoid, but I thought that if I can avoid these four as much as possible then I'll be doing pretty well.

I'm type "A". The natural vegetarian. I'm not surprised with that at all. I'll do my best to follow the book's suggestions, then perhaps I'll see an upgrade in my general well-being. If that does happen, then I'll be much more diligent about eliminating/introducing different foods into my daily diet.

So much for chili and spaghetti, huh?

Monday, November 12, 2007

I Opened Joe's EOB

One emergency room visit. One EKG. One IV med for pain. Blood panels, CAT scan, yadda, yadda, so-on and so-forth. 8145 and change is what it would have cost Joe and I for his visit to the ER last month. The kicker? Not getting diagnosed with anything.

However, upon returning to work two days later... two co-workers (one happened to be Joe's regular doctor) made a visual diagnosis. Then was told to go home, and not return to work for 7 days. What was it that caused all the trouble? Shingles. An exacerbation of the same virus that causes chicken pox.

I can't imagine how one would begin to pay medical bills without having insurance. Joe talks about patients in the heart hospital all the time that have no medical coverage. Recently one comes to mind. A thirty-one year old male from Clinton, just released, will likely have a $250K medical bill follow him home. At least that's what Joe estimated his bill to be. After all, he was in the hospital for two weeks.

But, Eighty-one hundred dollars? Just for an ER visit? Un-fucking-real!

Friday, November 02, 2007

Diagnosis Pending

Today may be the first steps in understanding many of the physical problems I've been forced to deal with over the past several years. I had thought that the stresses my life had been presented in that time was the main contributor to why I always felt terrible. But now, my life is quite different. The major stresses I once experienced in daily life are no longer present. As I told my doctor... "my life has never been better". The professional, relationship, financial, and social components of my life are all in sync and have harmonized so that I live quite an easy, happy, and fulfilling existence. But in contrast to that harmony, I am always in pain. It is much worse at times (such as now), and I'm smart enough to realize the the pattern has been cyclical. In addition to the pain, I also experience a bit of confusion (I've always been a neat-freak, and that bothers me to no end to not be able to organize as well as I once did), numbness in various parts of my arms and legs, episodes of itching that can bring me to tears (without any evidence of rash or redness), and also an annoying blind spot in my field of vision that has been present since August of last year.

I was so frustrated in not being heard by my previous physician that I sought-out a practitioner that would be more in tune with me and the problems I presented. The problem I wanted addressed first was my sleep apnea, and I now have that problem under control. But when I presented all of my symptoms to him yesterday, his response was... "You definately have my attention!" Then he asked "Why didn't you tell me about everything earlier?" It was then that I just started to cry. "Because I feel so bad, I didn't know what I had said and what I had not..."

Today, I will have an MRI. Maybe now I will start getting some answers. Feeling so bad maybe won't be as difficult to deal with if I am able to know what is causing it.

_______________________________

Update:
I am very displeased with my doctor's lack of follow-up. Apparently, the MRI was only indicative of impacted sinuses, which I have no doubts I would have. But I know that cannot be the only cause of everything else I deal with on a daily basis.

I now have an appointment with a Neuro-Opthamologist at UAMS. In fact, he's the director of Neuro-Opthamology at the Jones Eye Institute. Dr. Joseph Chacko. Perhaps he will be able to determine why I have two permanent blind spots in my vision, one in each eye, and also at precisely the same area of visual field. Homonymous Quadrantanopsia. And if he's able to determine what caused that, then perhaps he will see more of what is going on with me. All the symptoms are classic Multiple Sclerosis indicators. I hope not, but at least with a real diagnosis, I could begin treatment and maybe even resume what mimics a normal life. Even if it is MS.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Content

Do you ever have days where you feel as if your inner-world is perfect? Despite the cold and grey day outside, and despite the terrible back pain I'm having, I am perfectly content with my life. Sure, there are changes I would love to make (my career, proximity to my kids, etc.), but I realize change will only come about when I am ready.

No path we choose to journey is ever perfect, nor does it promise to bring us all we want in life. All along the way are obstacles we must traverse. Whether we make that journey with optimism or with disdain is largely a decision we make each day. Today, I've made my choice.

Disclaimer:
I do give myself permission to not feel this way tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Charles. Catherine. You Mind If I Ask You A Personal Question?

No, what is it?

How Large is Your Footprint?

I found an interesting online reference today. It is a calculator that estimates your Annual_Carbon_Footprint.

See how you measure up. Bigger is definitely NOT better.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Depeche Mode - Precious

One of their best yet. I LOVE DM!

On the Pier

A skyline cruise at dusk enabled us to have this photograph taken on Navy Pier. June, 2007. Behind is a tiny little portion of the Chicago skyline. That was my first visit there, and I'll always remember it fondly.

Fifty

On September 7, 1957 in Little Rock, my parents committed themselves to love, honor and cherish one another, all the rest of their days. In the home of their pastor and surrounded by friends & family, they embarked on a journey which has taken them through a myriad of life experiences. Luckily for them, the good has far outweighed the bad. But as with any union, I do realize that the only way to reach this golden moment is through respect and love for one another. Equally, yet each in their own way. Just as no person is perfect, neither is any marriage, but what they've been able to accomplish is rare. I don't think anyone could say there is a direct and clearly marked path for every couple to mark 50 years together, but whatever path they've taken... they've arrived, and they truly are a guidepost for me and for all of their family.

I don't think Joe and I will have the chance to do the same, simply because of our age. I do know that he and I have the right stuff to make it to that point. I will be 87, Joe, 92. Maybe... but not likely. But whether or not we make it there, we do have the present. And the present is indeed the happiest and most centered I've ever been.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad. May you have many more happy years ahead.

Friday, September 28, 2007

I Walk This Street


twice a day. Once before work, once in the evening. From home to the Majestic and back is 2.5 miles.
And lately, I've even taken on the Mountain Tower road in the evenings as well, getting in around 10 miles a day.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Knots Landing Pilot Opening

Ahhh, the 70s! Did anyone know that David Jacobs actually wrote Knots Landing BEFORE he wrote Dallas? Cool, huh?

Monday, September 24, 2007

RIP Bernice

I loved this actress. Alice Ghostley. She died over the weekend. We'll miss her.

It IS on it's way Rick, I promise...

I've had the priveledge of meeting (via internet) a good comrade. His name's Rick, and he and I share a similar personal history, with Mark Bingham having a pivotal influence on both of us.

I had asked Rick if he cared if I shared with everyone, a photograph of himself with Mark's mother, Alice Hoglan, along with an interesting and inspiring blog entry. He obliged, being the good natured guy I believe him to be, and I thank him for that.

Just know I will eventually stop rewriting the darned thing and get it posted... someday.

It's Amazing to me

how many hits my blog gets, even though I've been so lazy in contributing to it lately. Google searches for M.M. Cohn Dept. store(and their impending closure) and for Little Rock Central High School are often the most likely referrals.

Tomorrow, the 50th anniversary of the desegragation of LRC will be celebrated in earnest. Thousands of attendees will gather on the front lawn, many of whom are attending a gala tonight. Hillary's making it a campaign event, of course, and all other state dignitaries will be in force as well.

1957. 2007. Half a century. Incredible that so much has changed. Incredible still that much has not.

Friday, September 14, 2007

I Never Knew....


Alan Ladd, star of a whole slew of b&w westerns is a native of my fair town, Hot Springs... that I knew. I also knew that Cheryl Ladd is his daughter-in-law.
What I did not know, is that he was only 5'6" tall!!

Saturday, September 01, 2007

I May Not Have Good Gaydar, But I Do Have Excellent Peripheral Vision

Friends over tonight for cookout and pool time. Usual fun. Our great friend Charles, whom I've mentioned in various previous entries, brought along two younger straight fellows. One is Charles' stepson, who is soon to be done with his stint in the Army. Along with him was his best friend from high school. He just finished his service with the Navy.

Cute as buttons, they were. All muscley and fit and tattooed. Did I say cute? Anyway, they were not too uncomfortable in the element. The stepson has been over before. The friend was obviously taken in by the atmosphere. He began to loosen up considerably and became chatty. Chatty and cute. He also liked my choice of music.

"Who is that?" he asked with a strangely curious tone.

"That would be Erasure." I replied...giggling to myself inside. As I know it drums out a beat that many a gay man relates to well.

"I like it!" he exclaimed.

"Oh... they're fabulous." I felt I could only say 'fabulous' to properly describe my emotional basis of judgement of Erasure.

The evening progressed further. And as I was fullfilling my duties as grillmeister, I noticed a certain somebody had a great deal of interest in my side profile.

I know the look. In the closet or out... I know that look.

Gosh, he is sooo cute. I'da pinched his cheeks if I could.