Kicked?

I'm doing much better than I had predicted. I quit several years ago and remember it was the most difficult challenge I had ever faced.

Well, that was 12 years ago. I've faced many larger obstacles since, and perhaps that is why this is far easier than how I remembered.

But I wonder... Do I now consider myself a "non"-smoker, or is that jumping in too far and too soon?

A Big Step Forward

They're gone. Deleted. All of those dark introspective drafts of entries I had penned, over time, that dealt with my dark days of coming-out, lonliness, depression. They're gone. Those recollective entries are not representative of the life I've chosen for myself, and they will not be seen.

I was lucky to find a blogger with whom I share a similar disconnect with the at-large gay community. Mark. When we had made contact some months ago, I spoke of my own experience and made mention of how similarly we both percieved the world around us. He gave encouragement to me to give my experience a voice through writing. Thank you Mark.

I think it is an investment in one's self to look back from time to time. But there is also a time to let it go and move forward. Today, I cleaned out the past. I am ready to move forward.

I Was In The Mood For A Change

New template.

Whaddaya think?

I Think I Hurt Myself

Last evening, Charles and Gaye had dinner with Joe and me at our house. Knowing that I am gearing up for a change in lifestyle (quitting smoking, losing weight, treating my sleep apnea), Joe suggested we all go for a walk after we finished eating. With our two Scotties leashed and ready to go along...we headed out. From our home on Quapaw, we were to make a round trip with midpoint being here.

Slight drizzle began to fall as we turned the corner from Prospect onto Central, but we kept a steady and fairly quick pace. Especially considering all three of us guys are smokers(but soon to be ex-smokers). When we made it up Central to The_Aristocrat, the large metal grate which I most always step around, happened to end up under my feet...then suddenly, I ended up slamming my whole body against it.

I am quite sore today.

The B-52's Debbie

They always make me smile.

Wired

Sleep study #1 is complete. No results from the Doc yet, but I am sure I registered many apneas through the night, as I awakened myself - almost completely - several times throughout. That in itself is unusual for me, but given the strange envirnment I suppose it makes sense.

I did not rest well through the study. Imagine, if you will, the quality of mattress one might find in a Motel 6. An old Motel 6. That was the quality of my mattress for the evening... and Full-size, no less. It was the farthest sleeping experience from my accustomed surroundings: King-size bed. 600 thread count sheets. Big pillows. A warm body next to me. Add to that, about 15 electrodes (felt like 50) glued to my head and body, and it made for a challenging evening. Especially when awakening in the middle of the night and needing to use the restroom. I'll spare the details, but just imagine miles of wires coming out of your head, running up your pajama legs, and all connected to a module that had to be hand-held the entire time away from the bed.

But, it's all for the chance of having a better life, once I'm treated. So, I'll not complain anymore. I just know that if I need subsequent sleep studies performed, I must take my own pillows.

The B's are coming soon!

I've always been a huge B52's fan. Although I was a bit young for their more obscure popularity in the late 70's, I did however get to ride on the surge of their comeback in the middle to late 80's.

In fact, I had painted onto my Delta Hall dorm room window at Arkansas State University, the words "Love Shack" (even though that was the farthest thing from the truth...) with huge blasts of bright colors.

After my days at college, I delved into the B52 Archives and then was born the appreciation of their earlier sets. It was then that I learned the story of Ricky...member of the band, and Cindy's brother. He died in the early 80's from Aids related cancer, and it left a huge hole in the group...and in Cindy for much longer. And even though the band would regain it's momentum with the album Cosmic Thing, Cindy did not participate in the following album, Good Stuff. If I could ride the hands of time, one thing I would have loved to experience in this lifetime, would be to have seen this young 5-member band, rocking the CBGB with Rock Lobster.

One point of interest I've had all these years, has been how Keith Strickland has aged so well. I mean, damn...he looks twenty years younger than Fred, Kate and Cindy. I must confess that I always kept a crush on Keith, too.

I've been keeping my ears open for any news about any new releases they may have coming forth. It appears that late Summer of 07, we will be blessed with yet another B52 album!


I have no doubts that a third generation of college age kids will fall in love with these creative and fun folks from Athens GA & NYC.

The B-52's Legal Tender

One of their many late 1970's classics

80's Moment - Bronski Beat

Morning Light

Morning sunlight rarely comes through this glass. The opposing side, once an open porch, was enclosed around 1908. Yesterday, I decided I would open the window coverings within that room, just so I could see the light coming through the glass this morning. Ahh...just as it should be.

The window sits just above a landing on the stairway-five risers from the top...and what seems like 50 from the bottom. And btw, the crazy floral wallpaper will have a short life now. ALL the wallpaper is a comin' down - right along with the crappy-do popcorn.

Working on the bedroom today

Some weeks ago, I had taken-on the task of removing the tragic popcorn ceiling in the bedroom that we plan to take over as the Master bedroom. Today, I take up the task again-repairing the ceiling drywall prior to repainting. The walls are still the original plaster & lathe, and I will be repairing them as well.

The room is nicely sized, with a bay window. Within the bay is a set of french doors which will allow us access to a deck, which is our main reason in making this bedroom our own.

Wishes to Cancel and Not Be Re-Billed

I get so disgusted with certain companies that attempt to keep you as a customer, even though it is against your own will. Well, today I've had a discourse with Yahoo, in that I have found it impossible to cancel my subscription to their personals page, according to the instructions that are given to do just that. The "Cancel" link to which they refer within those instructions did not exist. I couldn't find it anywhere!! So, given the testy mood that has arisen from within me, I have given Yahoo a bit to chew on this morning:

I have cancelled my subscription to Yahoo! Personals some weeks ago, yet I have recently recieved notification by e-mail that my account will be up for renewal in the coming days.

I do not wish to continue my subscription to Yahoo! personals. I do not wish for the subscription to be renewed.

I have attempted for the last hour, to find a link within Yahoo! Personals, to cancel the service-according to instructions within the account billing links. I feel that I have wasted valuable time in attempting to find a "cancel" link which obviously does not exist. Instead, I have found this e-mail address to instead notify Yahoo! of my intentions to no longer use Yahoo! Personals and to express my angst and disgust regarding the time and effort I have wasted on my behalf in attempting to find a way to cancel the service within the Yahoo! Personals website.

Please send me proper notification that my Yahoo! Personal subscription has indeed been permanently cancelled and that my credit card will not be re-billed for a subsequent quarter-year of service.

Thank you, and good day.


Hey...who woulda known that I would have found my significant other within just days of posting a profile there? Miracles do happen.

I Have WHAT In My Throat?!?

I recommend that everybody should seek fresh medical advice at any moment you feel you're not getting the answers you need with your current physician.

I've been with the same doctor since '94, and I haven't been getting past a few problems I've been continually dealing with for some 4 years. The symptoms all pointed to sleep apnea, and it has gone years without diagnosis. (And yes Chris and Michael, I know you've told me that is what I suffer from...but I can be a stubborn beast, ya know.) Since I now share a sleeping chamber with another human being, I was told just how bad my nights really are. And it scared the ever-loving crap out of me. Especially since Joe is a cardiac nurse and he informed me on the long-term effects it has on the body.

Today, I got a fresh perspective...and I think it may have saved my life! Really. I'll likely have to have surgery on my throat in the next few weeks. Tonsillectomy. It appears that my tonsils take up over 50% of my airway while upright...even more while lying down. Now wonder I couldn't breathe!

Anyway, he went on to explain that adults typically have a much longer recovery time after said proceedure than do children. Grand! But as my friend Janine said, "adults get better pain medications too". Very true. At least I hope so. I sure don't want to hurt if it's somehow avoidable. He said he wouldn't be surprised if I took two weeks before getting back to a normal work scenario. Sounds like a lot of Vicodin, Soup and Juice to me.

..........Is it normal to feel guilt from essentially firing the doctor I've been seeing all these years? We don't necessarily rub shoulders, but he and his wife have been good friends of the family (and now he's my neighbor - I snicker).

I not only got some fresh and sound medical advice, but I was also hit on by the office assistant who checked me out. Well, maybe I shouldn't say I was hit on, but I think I must've had some effect on her b/c she couldn't say or do anything without tripping all over herself. (Even her co-worker asked her if she needed to relieve her b/c of the mess she was making)...but I was truly endeared by her blushing cheeks. "If she only knew everything about me"... I chuckled as the thought ran through my mind. I made sure to let her know I had picked-up on the reasons for her momentary klutziness, and left her with a "have a great weekend, gorgeous", and a very large smile.

Gosh, I feel good today!

Highlights from Ann's Birthday

Joe and I with Ann.
















Pucker-up, ya'll! (Joe and Bethanie)
















Joe and me - eyes shut. Look at the writing on the wall behind us. It's the name of this blog!
















I hope Bethanie likes sushi. (Kendall, Bethanie & Chef James)















Out for fresh air (?):
Miranda, Kent, Joe, p.alan, Alice, Bethanie, Kendall

Photos courtesy of Kent. Thanks Kent!!!

State Legislature is Duped

Well, it seems that the traditional family values PAC, Arkansas_Family_Council intended all along to make the "Gay Foster Parent Bill" a dead issue. Now that the bill has died in a House committee(after making its way through the Senate), the gay-haters have stated that the issue will now be pursued as a ballot issue.

They will need to gather 85000 signatures on their petition to have the issue placed on the ballot in the next General Election. An easy task, given all they will have to do is set up a table outside the doors of those good Christian churches. Who in their right mind would be seen not placing their name on the list by their fellow church-going brethren? They might be seen as un-Christian-like by not supporting this witch hunt.